Feedback shouldn’t be a surprise. Hopefully, he has been receiving feedback along the way about specific behaviors that he has needed to change. Start out by stating your intent in giving the feedback. For example, “My goal in giving you this feedback is for you to be able to step up and get that promotion….” Then describe the actual behavior that you noticed and the situation in which it occurred (i.e., “You did not show up to the last three of our staff meetings”), the impact that it had (i.e., “this upset the rest of the team who were counting on getting key updates from you so they could move forward with their projects”), and then articulate the desired results (“I’d like for you to be at all of our staff meetings from now on. If you can’t attend, I’d like for you to let me know and to send someone from your team in your absence”).
If coaching fails to cure a problem in six months, it can become very expensive indeed. Take the case of Tom Davis, the coach who worked with Rob Bernstein, the executive VP of sales at an automotive parts distributor. Let’s assume Davis charged a relatively low per diem of $1,500. Over the four years of his engagement—which ultimately did not solve Bernstein’s problems—he would have picked up at least $45,000 in fees. That sum would have purchased 450 hours with a competent therapist—about ten years’ worth of weekly sessions.
9. Power Words: Make positive self-statements continually. Negative thinking is common; everyone has an inner critic. Become aware of these thoughts early on. Don’t fight with them; simply acknowledge their presence, and then substitute positive power words. (e.g., When you’re thinking: “This hurts too much, I want to lay down and die”; say to yourself: “This feeling is connected with getting healthier and doing my absolute best.”)
Look for a hypnotherapist who is a member of the American Society of Clinical Hypnosis (ASCH) or the Society for Clinical and Experimental Hypnosis. To be a member of either of these organizations, a hypnotherapist must have a doctorate level degree in medicine, dentistry, or psychology, or a master’s degree in nursing, social work, psychology, or marital/family therapy plus a specific number of hours of approved training in hypnotherapy. In some cases, accredited, doctoral-level practitioners of alternative health care, such traditional Chinese medicine, may also be approved for membership. Of course, in addition to looking at qualifications, you should also find a hypnotherapist with whom you feel confident and comfortable in a therapeutic relationship.